LOS ANGELES (March 14, 2014) — According to a report by the University of Virginia National Marriage Project called “Knot Yet: The Benefits and Costs of Delayed Marriage in America,” the age at which men and women marry is now at the highest of all time — 27 for women, and 29 for men.
The report revealed that Americans of all classes are postponing marriage to their late twenties and thirties for two main reasons, one economic and the other cultural.
Ninety-one percent of young adults believe that they must be completely financially independent to be ready for marriage.
Young adults have also come to see marriage as a “capstone” rather than a “cornerstone”— something they do after they have all their other ducks in a row, rather than a foundation for launching into adulthood and parenthood.
The only question is: what if by the time they have all their ducks in a row, it is also too late for starting a family and bearing children?
Hellen Chen, marital expert and bestselling author, whose recent book “Hellen Chen’s Love Seminar” became a bestseller in marriage and relationship books on Barnes and Noble, has a first-hand experience with men and women who have disregarded marriage until it is too late.
“Somewhere along the line in the last 2 decades, marriage becomes less important than career.” said Chen. “Most people think that a marriage is something that will automatically become good once they have career achievements and once they find the right person. This is so far from the truth.”
Chen has seen countless marriages ended up in divorces despite both husbands and wives being tremendously outstanding in their careers and have been touted as the “perfect” couple.
Having developed the reputation of assisting those who have the least chance to find a right match to actually tie the knot, the unorthodox matchmaker said, “It is not the success of your career that will make a marriage happy. Social statuses, having a house or a 6 figure income have no bearing on the success of a marriage.” said Chen.
Rita C was a typical example of a highly successful professional who had put career and personal interests first than marriage. She had turned down many suitors because they were “not good enough.” After she went past 38 years old and finally wanting to settle down and have a child, she panicked.
“I used to have suitors coming after me easily. It is shocking but now the tables are turned. I get turned down one after another by the guys I really liked.” she said.
In a Skype interview from Los Angeles, Chen talks about why modern dating is not working out, “Most people think there are always a better person out there. So they would spend three to four years dating, then break up, then spend another three to four years with someone else whom they think is better and break up again. And after 10-15 years later, they accumulated only bitter experiences.”
Rita approached Chen for help and in the end her marriage dream did come true. When interviewed, Rita said, “My advice for men and women now is don’t wait. No money made in the world can buy back those lost time.”
“Most singles are looking for that perfect match. But how could a ‘happily ever after’ come about if one does not possess real abilities to love? Whether you can keep a relationship going has everything to do with your ‘love ability,’ not how ‘perfect’ your better half is.” said Chen.
In an interview from Taiwan, Chen gives an example from her hobby of flower arranging. She talked about if one did not know the basics of flower arranging, one could only create a mediocre arrangement despite having the best materials to choose from. A skilled person will simply create the most stunning piece despite having inferior material.
This is the same as a good chef able to create a tasty dish with just simple ingredients.
Thus just like training for sports or for a profession work, a person’s “love ability” needs its own training and development as well, it is not something that just “comes naturally if one meets the right guy or gal.”
Chen’s works in family, marriage and personal developments are featured in over 200 media publications in 20 countries. She has been a frequent guest on independent and network radio and TV shows on FOX, CBS, NBC and ABC etc.
In addition to writing 22 books and given thousands of lectures, Chen has released a series of love workshops specializing in assisting singles and couples to increase their abilities to love and enjoy a deeper relationship.
Her next workshop will be held on coming Saturday March 8 in Los Angeles.
Tickets can be found on http://MatchmakerOf TheCentury.com.