Feeling stressed, and wanting more time?

By MARILYN TAM
Contributing Columnist

“How did it get so late so soon?” — Dr. Seuss

“It’s November already, where did the year go?”

“The holidays are coming, and I’m still caught up in projects that I started months ago.”

“Get all my work done? If I had 48 hours in a day I may get caught up in another year.”

Do you relate? Occasionally or more often, everyone has felt that time was rushing by, carrying with it our chances to finish what we began, say sorry, or redo something that we wish we hadn’t done. When the days are so packed with demands, both assigned and self-imposed, we have a tendency to live in a constant mad rush. Many of us multi-task and juggle urgent projects daily, careening through life with little time to ask why and what are we really doing. Later, sometimes too late, we realize that in our scramble through life, we have neglected what was truly meaningful to us.

I’ve been there and more than a few times; living like that is an unsustainable and unhappy way to live. If you are feeling too stressed with what seems like an endless to do list, slow down. Take a deep breath, and then take another one, and then say, “What would happen if I didn’t do this task at this very moment?  What is really most important?  What is the truth here for me? Pull yourself back enough to get distance and perspective. Listen to the voice of your inner wisdom. The right answer to what you really need to do now will come.

If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over? —  John Wooden

Many years ago, when I was working my way through college, I thought I could do it all. I was taking 24 credit hours of classes (normal load is 12-15), working 20 hours a week as a fast food fry cook, on the University’s swim team and I was also the main volunteer cook at the University’s Chinese American Club. Surprising probably to no one but me, I fell ill, seriously sick.

Frustrated and unbelieving that I would be held in the school infirmary for days to recover, I asked to leave. When the administrator and medical staff told me that I could leave only if I signed these papers to absolve them of all responsibility should I die after I left did I realized the severity of my condition. In the next few days of recuperation I took the time to reassess my life. What was absolutely aligned with my life purpose and what was merely nice to do?

Learning the skills and knowledge I needed to help others was my goal. That meant keeping my credit hours and grades well maintained was most important. Having the money to pay for that was another part of the equation. What else did I need? Some balance. I can swim for recreation without the long hours of practice needed to stay on the swim team. Someone else can be the main volunteer cook for the Club. I can help when I have the time and just enjoy the level of participation that was comfortable for me. It took some adjustment to say no, to admit that there was a finite amount I could do, but ultimately it felt freeing. I didn’t feel exhausted all the time and actually had more fun!

“We need to maintain a proper balance in our life by allocating the time we have.

There are occasions where saying no is the best time management practice there is.” — Catherine Pulsife

What about you? Are you packing too much into your life? Distinguish between the important and the urgent; sometimes the “urgents” aren’t that critical. Review what is on your to do list, are they all necessary? Who can help you with some of them? What if you put some things off to do later? Or even just stopped doing them altogether?  Review your priorities. Do your activities and daily life reflect what you truly value?

Oftentimes we tell ourselves that once we do _____, then we’ll have the time, money and resources to do what we really want. Can we do what we really want now in another way? Maybe we can’t take that round the world trip today, but we can spend a few hours exploring something new in our area, or read up about the places we want to go together. There are many ways to share fun and fulfilling experiences that don’t demand resources that we don’t have. Days, months and years are passing by and we only have this moment.

There is a dynamic balance to life. Maybe you have a work deadline that is going to consume your time and energy for a certain period of time. Acknowledge that and enlist the support of your family and friends. Ask for their understanding and support while you are occupied with the job, and commit to a time when you will be more available. Life is constantly changing, so allow for periodic swings from one aspect to another as long as the swings are conscious and limited in length. It will help you keep a perspective and be a reminder to readjust again when the task is done. Enjoy your life each day, that is the only time we have.

Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” — Eckhart Tolle

Marilyn Tam is an international selling author, speaker, entrepreneur, humanitarian and former CEO of Aveda, President of Reebok Apparel Products & Retail Group and VP of Nike and the founder and Executive Director of Us Foundation.

Marilyn’s new book, “The Happiness Choice – The Five Decisions that Take You From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be” will be released in February 2013. Marilyn wrote her internationally selling books, “How to Use What You’ve Got to Get What You Want” and “Living the Life of Your Dreams”, which won the Global eBook of the Year 2011 in the Inspirational/Visionary category. Her books and work have helped numerous companies and people globally. You can get more free insights and find out about Marilyn on her website http://www.marilyntam.com/books.html and connect with her on facebook.

RADIO SHOW

Speaking about adding more to one’s plate, I just did! And I’m delighted to share the news with you: today is the soft launch of my new weekly radio show! The radio show, “The Happiness Choice” is on FMG Network and you can listen to it starting today. http://www.fmgradio.com/show/marilyntam

Welcome friends to the Happiness Choice Show with host Marilyn Tam! This show will speak to you on how you can live the life you’ve dreamed of living – a happy, healthy and dynamically balanced life. The show is on each Tuesday at 4 p.m. PST and is available for listening 24/7 after that http://fmgradio.com/show/marilyntam/

You will hear the personal experiences and advice from renown experts in the fields of Relationships, the Physical and Emotional Body, Money, Spirit and Community. Each episode will strengthen and broaden the perspective and tools available to help you achieve your happiness and success goals.”

Are you thinking that time is zooming by too fast? The pace of life is accelerating and the hours in the day are not expanding to accomodate that. What can we do? Good news, there is a solution! My blog this month talks about how you can make time for all that you really care about. I have pasted the article below for your convenience.

In the most recent show Tam interviews Barbara Marx Hubbard, called “the voice for conscious evolution of our time” by Deepak Chopra, and she is the subject of Neale Donald Walsch’s book, “The Mother of Invention.” Barbara is also one of the key voices about the Mayan calendar transition this December 21, 2012, and in our second show next week we will talk about that.

The radio show is short, 15 minutes each, just the right length for a short break for you to relax and expand your mind to more possibilites. You can listen in any time online or download it to listen on your mp3 or ipod whenever you want at http://www.fmgradio.com/show/marilyntam.

Tam has lined up some great experts on the various aspects of happiness to share on the radio show. I can’t wait for you to listen in! As you know my book, “The Happiness Choice – The Five Decisions that Take You From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be” is coming out in Feb. 2013. The first guests on the radio show are the experts from the book, you’ll get a preview of some of the insights and wisdom they will be sharing in the book. www.MarilynTam.com

BOOK

Marilyn’s new book, “The Happiness Choice – The Five Decisions that Take You From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be” will be released in February 2013. Marilyn wrote her internationally selling books, “How to Use What You’ve Got to Get What You Want” and “Living the Life of Your Dreams”, which won the Global eBook of the Year 2011 in the Inspirational/Visionary category. Her books and work have helped numerous companies and people globally. You can get more free insights and find out about Marilyn on her website http://www.marilyntam.com/books.html and connect with her on facebook.