LOS ANGELES — John and wife Margaret H lived in a modest neighborhood with their three daughters. John worked at his family owned business while Margaret stayed at home for the children. They tried to give the very best they could afford in education and material comforts to their children.
Other than the responsibility to complete their education, both of them would ask very little in return from their children. The 3 girls grew up with most of everything they would want.
Tanya, the oldest daughter, soon reached the age for marriage, and later tied the knot with her current husband Steven.
Upon the first year of marriage, Tanya “ran home” several times.
“She told me she simply missed her home life and could not stand married life.” Margaret said, “I was shocked.”
“I asked myself, ‘Of all the education John and I have given to our children, what have I missed?” Margaret added.
Another case was Josephine C, who grew up as the only daughter in a family of four children. Her father, having built a family business from scratch, was able to provide the family with all material comforts. Josephine grew up with a silver spoon.
She married in her early 20s to her husband Lawrence. There were quarrels and fights just as couples would but 6 years later, Lawrence threw in the towel and they divorced. The reason? Josephine’s insistent to behave the same way as if she was in her original family.
Josephine said, “I used to think that I was just one of those unlucky people who did not make it in a marriage. But now I knew my marriage failed because I was still the spoiled brat who expected my dad, mom and husband to give in to my needs.”
Marriage expert Hellen Chen, who had followed the story of Tanya and Josephine, shared her views after consulting both, “They represent a breed of our young generation who has grown up with everything. They never have to contribute to anything nor strive to make a relationship well. Their parents gave all to them.”
Chen, also known as the “Matchmaker of the Century,” has helped over 100 men and women who had negative experiences in relationships to eventually get into marriage and make it succeeding.
She is also a three-times number one bestselling author who has written 25 books on the subject of relationships and marriage. One of her latest works “Hellen Chen’s Love Seminar” touches upon the phenomenon of “easy breakups.”
“The more dating one does with different partners, the more one believes there is always someone out there who is better.” Chen continued, “People are quick to magnify the flaws of another. But yet most people have never been taught to work through relationship difficulties with someone.”
One the main points Chen highlighted in a recent interview is: the way children are raised will influence the way they function in future relationships.
“Most parents want to give the best to their children. However, some parents have also unwittingly imparted the lesson that since everything is provided for, one does not need to work hard for anything — including relationships.” Chen shared.
With the help of Chen, Tanya finally settled down in her marriage and did not head to the divorce court. She continued to work on shouldering the burdens of her household which she had never needed to do so before. She is now a mother of two and has a close relationship with her husband.
“There is nothing wrong to provide everything we can as parents to our children. But if we do not help our children to stand on their feet and to know they have responsibilities too, we are simply creating trouble for their future relationships and career.” Chen added, “Their future spouse will not be as willing as the parents to continue ‘spoiling’ them.”
Chen will be holding her popular “Love seminar” for singles and couples in Los Angeles on Saturday, Sept. 6, 2014. In the seminar, Chen talks about the different ways to make a relationship last for couples and how to find the right match in the first place for singles.
For more information about Chen’s work, visit www.Matchmaker OfTheCentury.com.
Chen’s works in family, marriage and personal developments are featured in over 200 media publications in 20 countries. She is a frequent guest on independent and network radio and TV shows on FOX, CBS, NBC and ABC.